Late night thinking...

In a vain attempt to go to sleep, I was just thinking, and had some random thoughts that are depriving me of rest. Hopefully writing will help allow sleep to feel right at home.

I'm usually just now getting off the phone with my beloved and heading to dream land. But he is at work which means I am able to talk to him because he is absolutely wonderful and tries to make sure that he calls me even if it is to tell me that he can't talk and that he loves me. However, I do grow weary sometimes that we will be in the middle of discussing something and then the clock speeds ahead and it is 10:30 (or whatever time it is he needs to leave) and we have to part for the evening and I won't hear his voice for another 24 hours. I am ever so grateful/thankful that I at least get to talk to him and hear the sound of his voice even if it is just him telling me that he can't talk. Sigh, okay okay I confess. The real reason I am still awake is because I miss Jordan. 13 days and I will get to see him for a weekend! YAY!!! I just want to see him and I can't wait to go on our date, and go shopping and go to the beach and just spending time with my future husband. ♥

Sigh, well school is almost done and only 2 classes and 5 finals are between me and never coming back to Ship again! I'm ready to start my new life with Jordan and have many adventures...

Alright I suppose I should head to bed and stop boring you with my sappiness (and my incoherency)

Goodnight! Loves!

not for me, but for Him.

Oh my what a semester it has been! I'm so glad that it is almost over; 2 more classes and 5 finals. I must say that Shippensburg has been quite the experience. In agreement with my mom, Shippensburg was not a complete waste of time because staying in high school was not the answer and I got a husband out of it. :)

Admittedly, I did not give 100% of my best and I did allow my depression get the best of me and according to Jordan, I will just do better next time around. Which I will! It's not that I do not like school; it is the fact that I do not like the "school environment." I'm very excited about starting up school again in January. I will be majoring still in English and will get a certification in Human Resource Management. (yes I will more than likely be taking the intro to online learning while I am in Kingsland but I'm not starting full time till we move to North Carolina) I will agree that my brain has turned to mush and that it is being starved of knowledge but once I start writing just to write that should help nourish it. (and as I am typing this my red butterfly chair broke :[ )

Something else that I have realized. That even though I have fallen, God always helps me back to my feet: no matter what. I am so grateful for all the second chances that I have been given. You know how some people have a list of things they want to do before they die? Well, I don't really have anything like that but what I do want to do before I go home to be with the Lord is to actually live my life. Not for me, but for Him. He gave it back to me and I want to live a life that shows Him how thankful I am for it. It is not easy and I wish it was but then I never have been the type of person to take the easy road and to go cautiously. I jump in with both feet. (it does get me in trouble sometimes) But, that is my goal. To start living my life completely for Him and to do the very best that I can, even when my depression/anxiety tell me I can't.

1 John 2:3-6 And how can we be sure that we belong to him? By obeying his commandments. If someone says,"I belong to God," but doesn't obey God's commandments, that person is a liar and does not live in the truth. But those who obey God's word really do love him. That is the way to know whether or not we live in him. Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Christ did.

(I highly recommend reading 1,2&3 John! http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=1Jo&c=1&v=1&t=NLT#top )

There are no words to explain HOW excited I am about getting married! Honestly, it still baffles me that I am marring Jordan Travis...I mean come on! I've known him foreverrrrr and here he and I both were looking else where and we both had just given up. Then all it took was one hug, 4 times of asking for my number, endless hours texting and then 3 to 4 hour phone calls and here we are 6 months later and in 134 days we'll be married and together till death separates us. It is so amazing and I am thankful beyond words that God brought us together. Jordan is my life saver here on earth. His endless amount of patiences (that I test daily, without trying), understanding, and love are more than I deserve. Sigh :) He's the bestest. I love him oh so much!

Alright enough mushy, gushiness. *giggles* Loves!

The wonders of love. ♥

Yesterday we can say was an adventure in the sense that I have not had a depression episode like I did in a very long time. Thankfully, God gave Jordan a vast amount of patients and more importantly gave him the ability to see past my depression and still love me the same. Through all of that and once we were able to talk that night things worked themselves out.

I keep having this thought and I believe it was part of why I had such a horrible episode yesterday (other than the fact that school shall we say is like poison in my veins and this semester was not good at all). God showed me yesterday that Jordan really loves HIM and because of that Jordan can love me. If Jordan didn't love God the way he does then he wouldn't be able to love me the way he does. I'm not saying he wouldn't love me but it wouldn't be the true, pure, unconditional, Godly love that he has for me.

Also admittedly I'm very difficult when I'm not depressed and when I am, well I'm just impossible! and honestly if I was an outsider looking at me I would just want to say "just knock it off and grow up!" But, Jordan didn't do that. Yes, he had to be the "bad cop" but he did it lovingly and from 800 miles away. He also reminded me that God loves me and that everything will be a-okay.

But this isn't what this post is really about...

There's just been such a dramatic, slow change for both of us since we started talking/dating. We are not the same people and well the explanation is God has entered our hearts and we are obeying Him to the best of our ability (due to the fact that we will always have sinful natures.) Neither of us are perfect and never expect to be. But God still loves us.

These verses really stuck out to me today when I was reading my bible and I wanted to share them with you. (the real reason behind this post)

1 John 2:1-6

My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if you do sin, there is someone to plead for you before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who pleases God completely.He is the sacrifice for our sins. He takes away not only our sins but the sins of all the world. And how can we be sure that we belong to him? By obeying his commandments. If someone says, "I belong to God," but doesn't obey God's commandments, that person is a liar and does not live in the truth. But those who obey God's word really do love him. That is the way to know whether or not we live in him. Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Christ did.

1 John 4:7-10

Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is born of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God--for God is love. God showed how much he loved us by sending his only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.

Okay that's more than enough for now. Loves!

Wedding planning :]

Ahhhhh! Gotta love planning weddings! So many little things to do and then once you have the majority of them all figured out, life is grand!

Let's see what all is done...

• Wedding dress
• Bridesmaids/flower girls dresses
• Church/reception hall
• Pastor
• Music (pianist, organist, singers)
• Caterer & reception planned
• Photographer (thank you Denny!!)
• Decorator
• Invitations

I know there's other things but I just can't think of them at the moment BUT if you stop and think about it, we can have a wedding just with that right there =] Just need to get my husband to be up here from Georgia!

Now it's the fact of having to wait 142 days...I keep being told it'll come soon enough...but I beg to differ.

Alright enough for now! Loves!

♥ 1 Corinthians 13: 7 - Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Ready, Set, GO!

Well hello!

So this is something new for me and I honestly have no clue what it is I'm doing but I thought this would be the easiest way for everyone to stay up to date in regards to my new life with Jordan and the Marine Corps.

Right now we have 143 days till we get married on September 11th! Ah!! I'm so excited. Words alone can't describe how excited, nervous, happy, grateful and truly in love I am. We have 95% of the wedding planning done and I can't wait! It is going to be so beautiful! =] In 23 days, my family and I will be driving down to Georgia for an extended weekend so I can see my wonderful husband to be!

Okay enough for now! Loves!